My mother was raised in the home of an old-fashioned, very strict preacher and her mother was the epitome of the Southern Belle who had an iron fist in a velvet glove. She had an opinion about everything and assumed that she was right and if you disagreed she narrowed her eyes, somehow sucked something from her tooth on the right side of her mouth and you knew it was time to shut up.
In Mother’s youth there were so many things that were ‘sins’ and chewing gum in church would have probably doomed you straight to hell! I remember her telling the story about a ride along the highway when she and her brother who was three years younger was reading a sign that said “OshKoshB’Gosh” and was an advertisement for a line of children’s clothes, which I found out is now a part of the Carter’s Company. They were not allowed to use ‘bad’ words in their home and since “gosh” was deemed a curse word and closely akin to something we might combine with ‘damn’ nowadays they were told to stop it immediately. They plead the case that they were only reading the sign and did it again the next time they say the sign, that’s where the story gets fuzzy, it seems that my “little daddy”, named so because he was a much smaller man in stature than my own “big daddy”, pulled to the side of the road and promptly removed his belt which placed nice red stripes on four very white legs and was something they laughed about as adults but at the time wasn’t that funny!
The reason I told you that was so you would understand that what I am about to tell you about my mother is so far outside of her normal personality that it is funny to me. Mother was always an avid newspaper reader and we all knew that it was off-limits to touch even to take to comics from the back panel until she had finished her front to back perusal of the entire paper. Her television watching consisted mainly of the news, morning, noon and night and every now and then my dad might sneak in an old Western movie but she was always impatient to get back to whatever news program that was about to start. When we were going through our teens and trying to find ourselves she was quick to point her finger right in our face and tell us exactly who we were and give us our full pedigree. We were taught that you don’t raise your voice to your parents, you don’t fight with your siblings, you have total respect for any adult and all adults were addressed by their title of Mr., or Mrs. never by their first name! I wanted you to know all these facts ahead of my revelation so here it comes…
When my mother gets up of a morning the only thing that will keep and hold her interest are shows which she would never have watched in earlier years, Jerry Springer, Maury, Cheaters, Steve and the Test. While those shows are on she is totally captivated by the fighting and accusations and it is especially interesting to her when the women start fighting each other and are restrained by the big, burly security guards! When their dress happens to fly up or come down, as often happens, she will actually come alive and comment with something like “that ought to be against the law”. She will always call my attention to the screen if any of the women “show their butt”, her delicate upbringing just can’t get enough of all the good stuff!
The Bible does say in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” so it makes me wonder how much older she will have to be than 89 before she goes back to her upbringing and decide that those are probably not the shows that will feed her mind and soul. But hey, who am I to judge and take the shocking shows that seem to wake her out of her daze away from her? It makes me wonder what is behind those blue eyes that I don’t know? Tonight my sister came in for a visit with her and mother told her “I am just a lost child and I don’t know where I belong or where my family is, they have all gone away and don’t even care to look me up or know where I am.” That is upsetting to me because I am her constant companion and the house is always full of her family, and when I told her that she just said, “I don’t know who they are, they are all strangers to me.”
So my friend, I don’t have anything wise or wonderful to say, advice to give or a solution just ruminating on life and as I quoted one night this week know that “to everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven” and know that maybe, like Esther, I was born for such a time as this, to care for an aging lady with very blue eyes, a love of fingernail polish, high heels and the Jerry Springer show.
Harolene.com 
I loved this. It was so beautiful. I smiled as I read about the shows she enjoys today. It took me back to my mom. She didn’t know any of us. It was the strangest feeling ever when I would go to see her, and she would come out of her room, stop and look at me and walk on…. not the usual hug and excitement she would have displayed before. I wanted to hug her so bad, but since she did not know who I was I didn’t know what to do about it. She sat down to eat her cereal and I was watching her. I asked, “If I give you a quarter, can I have a hug?” She sort of laughed and said, “Sure, if you want to!” So, I laid down a quarter and got my hug. I did that three times. My brother came n and asked what all the quarters were, and she told him that she didn’t know… somebody just keeps laying them down.
We laughed, but it was sad, too. I always missed my mom, even when she was still here, but I asked a friend of mine who is a pastor..”Where is my mom? Where are all that has made her who she is? Her memory, her family… I mean… where is she?” He said, “I can’t answer that, but I can tell you that wherever she is, Jesus is with her, because He promised to never leave us.” That gave me such comfort.
🙂 Thanks for the great article!
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Thank you for sharing your heart with me. 😄❤️
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So precious….both of you.
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❤️😄thank you!
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I remember growing up and my parents doing the same thing. You watched your words very carefully. Always adressing adults as Mr. and Mrs. Always saying “yes ma’am, no ma’am and the same for male adults. I still say that to this day, even to people younger than myself and they just laugh. I very rarely hear anyone say “Thank you” or You’re welcome”…I just don’t get it. Such simple words, that only take a split second to say…are lost in todays language.
Being raised in a military environment taught us to respect our elders. It’s sad to see a lot of that go by the wayside. We used to get in trouble and have to pick our own “hickory stick” off of a bush, if nothing else was close at hand. I was terrified in those days of those two words. But it also taught me to behave and the difference between right and wrong. Ok, I am through reminiscing now.
Thank you for sharing this story. It made me smile as well.
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And thanks for sharing yours! I didn’t know that. You are so right about our young people who were probably never taught to say sir or mam but especially thank you!! ❤️ Thank you !
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Harolene, this is a good posting and one most all will deal with. Life is not a fairy tale and not always comedic but it can be tragic! We are children of God but still we live out our lives in a sin cursed world. God’s grace is our refuge and He is our strong defender! Jacob said to Pharaoh, ” few and evil have the days of the years of my life been, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.” Solomon said: “Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;”
We are waiting for our glorification which is sure and certain!
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Thank you my friend and a wonderful reminder! I am not afraid to reach my glorious day!! You are a treasure ❤️
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Harolene, I liked the post. It reminds me of my mom who was strict and we were taught to respect our elders and parents. We were to behave and not bother other peoples’ personal belongings during a visit. She lived with me last years of her life and she got dementia. I remember we had a family get together at my older sister’s house in Clarkesville. My brother from Texas was visiting and he rode home with us so we could take him to the airport the next day. I was in the back seat with mother and she asked if that “man” could spend the night with us since it was getting late. My brother went into her bedroom to say good night and she did not recognize him- he laughed. She never did remember him. God was in control and still is.
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It is funny that she thinks my brother is her brother Earl part of the time and Ara becomes Earl also. It is her parents she is looking for and I am trying to fill in! Love you and miss seeing you! h
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Good topic as always. Seems all who have relied were raised as you & I were. Things were no different at my house. My Mother used hot sauce, Fels-Napta soap, & cod liver oil to wash the bad out of your mouth. Jalapeno juice on your tongue was always so pleasant believe me. But when my Dad was hit with all the strokes there at the end his taste in TV programs did the same thing as your Mother. It truly amazed me as I never thought he would do so. He did a complete turn around on us. Yet he would pray every day for those there in the home, his family, himself & others. I had a resident in the home in CA who was a Christian(Pentecostal) from 9 yrs old who was very strict on her family. When she was hit with her first stroke she started cussing worse than a sailor, stated her left arm was broken & refused to move it or let us touch it. Her daughters were beside themselves with her actions. She died cussing. I was asked about her salvation after she died. My answer was she was not in her right mind & I believe God knew that & she was forgiven. I was challenged by some but I still believe she was okay. God knows when we are accountable & when we are not. I don’t believe we will be held responsible when we are not aware of what we are doing or saying. Lot of my pinion involved & not a lot of Scripture o prove yea or nay on the matter but I stand on my belief. God bless. Thanks again for a good subject & point of interest on your part.
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I absolutely agree with you Dan! When a person has accepted Jesus it is done and losing their cognitive choice doesn’t change that. I think I told you that last Sunday when she was watching Jimmy Swaggart she was singing along with him on the old songs and I could tell she was touched. It made me feel good because she responds to so little! (((Hugs)))
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We had a lady(Alla) in our care in Redding who was so far out of it she would get up from the table after a meal, walk 6 ft turn around see the table & start crying because she was so hungry. I had the staff always give her a small plate of food & a juice glass of milk. She would eat it & be so thankful. We had a friend who wrote gospel music who would come & sing for the residents once a month. She used to blow us all away as he would introduce a new song he had just finished writing in past few days. He would start & she would join him singing harmony.. I can tell you hundreds of stories about her & have you laughing for hours. The last day she lived she started that morning telling us it was a great day as Jesus was coming for her to take her to Heaven. All day long everyone she talked to she told them goodbye because Jesus was to be there soon. We put her to bed at her normal time(9pm).. My shift manager called me at 11pm saying Alla couldn’t sleep. I told her to take her into the family room & give her a small glass of milk & keep an eye on her. She called me 45 minutes later to tell me she was dead. She called 911 & then me. I dressed & rushed to the house before the EMT’s got there. She was ice cold when I touched her. The EMT’s worked on her for over an hour before the doctor at the hospital released them. From the moment they started she was flat line zero they never got a heart beat. She had the sweetest smile on her face, it was so peaceful. My manager said that when she bent over her to start CPR she felt Alla’s spirit leave her body. To be so confused every day yet at the end telling everyone goodbye it makes tears in my eyes all the time. I know she has got to be singing for all she is worth up there. I feel truly blessed I was around her for almost three years. God bless. Just had to share this with you. Be encouraged God has your Mom right where He wants her.
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That is a beautiful story of a saint going home. I have seen that happen myself many times but it never fails to amaze me although why we should be amazed when we KNOW of God’s power and know that He sends the angels to bring us home, right?
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