Walk a mile in my shoes!

Love I think it is natural for us to want to discuss things with our friends. We bare our hearts and our deepest secrets, and then say four words “what do you think?”  We have just opened the floor, given permission to people outside of our problem to give their opinions and we hear it from all angles, things you never even thought of, motives assigned to your (mate, friend), motives that they may have never thought of!

Do you remember the old song “Walk a mile in my shoes“? This means that unless a person has gone through exactly the same thing you are, there is no real way they can identify with it, and even if they have faced the same type problem, the people involved are going to have different personalities or points of view and there is no way it is going to be exact. All you will get is more confused, because everyone seems so sure that their solution is the right one and suddenly you are turning in circles not knowing which end is up!

I wrote a note to a dear friend of mine recently who is facing a horrific problem. My words were “There’s no way to say “I know how you feel”, empty words, all empty. The only words that actually counts are “I’m praying for you”, IF I actually am praying, and I am. Nothing else will do. Sick to my stomach”.

When you tell someone you “know how they feel” remember, unless you have walked in their shoes, that is not possible. When you are in trouble or have a problem, don’t go to every one of your friends and ask that question, pick one person that you know is a praying person, maybe someone out of your immediate circle that will have no prejudice concerning the people involved. You also run the risk of being repeated over and over again, the more people you tell the more gets told, even when you say “Please don’t tell”, everyone has a “best friend” someone they trust completely, who in turn has a best friend and on it goes.

In crisis, the first step is to take your burden to the Lord and leave it there! Look in the Bible, go to the concordance, search for a key word that best describes how you feel and see what scriptures are listed, then look them up! When we go through periods of deep distress, it is wise, in fact it is biblical, not to surround ourselves with people, no matter how well-meaning they might be.

Solitude is essential. Silence is necessary. Words from others will, as I already said, distract. Stay in the Lord’s presence and see His mind during this painful time. In the soul-searching of our lives, we are to stay quiet so we can hear Him say all that He wants to say to us in our hearts!

In my dad’s last few months his hearing became so bad that if I wanted to say something to him I would have to turn down the TV or radio and make everyone get quiet because the background noise kept him from being able to hear what I was saying. It is the background noises in our life that make God’s voice obscure, so quiet that we think He is not speaking at all. Sometimes He is just telling us something that we don’t want to hear, but we need to be able to make that choice with a clear knowledge of what He is saying to us. Psalm 5:11 Let all who take refuge in You be glad! 

Get alone with the Lord and see what He has to say about your situation, write down what you are hearing and read it out loud to yourself, He knows what you are facing and He can help. To find out how Jesus is able to identify with us, read the book of Hebrews. God loves you and, even though I don’t know WHO you are, I have the love of the Lord for you that is why I am here!

One Reply to “Walk a mile in my shoes!”

  1. It takes more than just walking in their shoes to understand what they feel. One has to be able to feel their emotional attachment to the situation before understanding can begin. None of us except Jesus has the ability to do that action. So there is never a way we can feel what they feel exactly like they do. I have learned to tell people I can relate to your hurt at this point based on my own loss or problem in my own life yet I doubt that it matches your pain or sorrow at this time. I have found that to be the words to allow them to start letting down their walls so they can talk with me about their problem. I always appear as the duck on the pond, you see me just setting there nice & quiet & still but if you saw on the inside you would see me paddling like mad seeking words of wisdom from the Holy Spirit so I can be of comfort to their need. People want others to honestly care about their needs but are so easily turned off by insincere comments or a line of garbage from the person talking to them. And you are right the first step is to take it to the Lord & learn to leave it there. He tells us in so many places that He wants our burden, He cares about us, & we will find His burden He shares with us is light in comparison to the one we have been carrying. I find the hardest part is convincing the person that God wants our burden & the one He gives us is nothing in comparison. It’s trying to get them to trust the Lord to fix their burden for them, then it is easy for them to give it up. Think about the day that is coming when we will have no burdens to bear, all will be peace & joy abiding daily in His presence. What a day that will be…

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