In the interest of fair “reporting” or blogging as the case may be, I think I should tell on myself! I have done a lot of dumb things in my time such as getting my foot caught in a concrete block and having to have it hammered off, running into a see-saw swing which was in full motion and catching it with my chin, climbing on a folding chair to straighten curtains and falling through it getting my ankle caught (what is it with me and getting caught in things?) Those are only the beginnings of mistakes… one that was not so funny was when I mistakenly put ear drops in my poor unsuspecting dad’s eye causing him pain and a very red-eye, using baking soda instead of baking powder in a pineapple upside-down cake (when I first started baking) creating, instead of mouth-watering, a mouth-puckering experience. Then there was the time that I was playing the piano for my sister to sing “The Old Rugged Cross” at a funeral and played it in a key that was several octaves too high so that when she got to the place in the chorus that says, “I will cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it one day for a crown” it was impossible for her to hit causing me to shake with laughter thanking God that it was a very old funeral home with an upright piano that faced the wall..which brings me to the worse music mistake I ever made which was again at a funeral…let me insert a parenthetical statement here concerning funerals, ok? My dad was a minister and was asked to preach a lot of funerals of people that we did not know, had no emotional attachment for and being stupid young people and easily tickled often fell prey to fits of… well let me finish this story first… It was New Year’s Eve many, many moons ago, there was no one to preach the funeral of a man who had died of alcohol poisoning and liver failure, he had very few family members and my dad felt sorry for them, never mind that we (his three jack-ass children) had plans that we had to interrupt in order to go sing. The family requested a song that was popular at the time, “Why Me Lord”? My dad had given a eulogy and waxed elegant quoting the poem about the clock of time being wound but once and we could only see him through the bamboo screen as we watched for the signal to sing. Thankfully the family was seated in the little chapel and could not see us. As I struck the first chord my brother, who was past the age of voice changes so no explanation, started in a voice that sounded like it was coming out of a thirteen-year-old, it was first high then fell to a low pitch. Try as I would I could not sing, both hands and feet playing the Hammond all I could do was lean over the keys and try to keep from laughing out loud. We could only see the tip of my dad’s very large Armenian nose through the screen and he never moved, looking straight ahead… we finally got through the song and out the back door leaving him there to finish the funeral with taped music. I don’t think we ever lived that one down with that group of funeral directors and they probably still tell the story which was actually much worse than what I have related to you.
OK time to bring this to an end… Sunday morning I got up, put on coffee then went into the bathroom. I usually wait until I have my coffee to brush my teeth but for some reason saw the red and white tube laying there, picked it up and put a generous amount on my brush. As I began to brush my teeth I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my brush as it tasted so odd and the paste wasn’t lathering. I had walked into the great-room to watch the news as I brushed and walked back into the bathroom to see if I had picked up the wrong brush, no I had my own, but then I saw two tubes laying side-by-side and as you can see in the picture.. I will probably never have itching teeth again (do teeth itch?) Needless to say I was quick to wash out my mouth and finish the job with the actual toothpaste, no I will save telling you about picking up the Lysol spray in the dark to spray my very teased hair-do, again on a Sunday morning, and that time there was no solution, I went to church and fired up the Hammond with very disinfected hair!
I hope you will just consider that I am stressed, yes that’s it, very stressed out and continue to read my more serious articles! 🙂