Transparency, can you handle it?

Photo 155If I used the word “transparency” what would you think? Would you think I was speaking of something you could see through? Would you think of a picture (as on film) viewed by light shining through it or by projection? Maybe a piece of beautiful stained glass? How about if I said, “The politician is being transparent about his agenda and budget!” What would you make of that? In a relationship transparency means being completely honest with one another and that generally comes after they have assured each other that the truth will bring them closer and no they will never laugh, accuse, judge, or throw the things you have shared back in your face in the future. Are you still with me here?

How many relationships do you have that are completely transparent? You can say anything without fear of all the things I mentioned before happening? My guess is not many.

In my growing years I kept my private thoughts private because there were so many people who judged me as the “preacher’s kid” and if something I thought or said didn’t seem just right it was repeated and if it ever got back to my parents then I was in trouble. Everyone had to be my best friend because to have a real favorite also brought about criticism and at least one time a public apology. As an adult it wasn’t easy to trust anyone enough to say whether I agreed or disagreed with anything including politics. People thought I was “talkative” but if they stopped to really listen I was asking questions about them, that is safe as most everyone loves to talk about themselves, the weather, the latest score for the town’s team but never anything personal.

I often say that God loves us just the way we are, and now you know the reason that is important to me.  I don’t worry that He will repeat me; embarrass me, act shocked at what I just shared or make me feel stupid, and that is the kind of friend that we all want and need!

Something occurred to me when I was thinking about this; Jesus was the very Son of God and chose to come to earth in the form of a human man to deliver us from sin and gain eternal life that we already know. He talked to the Father often, we know that too, but when it came time for Him to complete the mission for which He was sent to earth He was not afraid nor embarrassed to ask His Father to “let this cup pass from me”, abort the mission! I don’t know how God answered Him but He had the strength to carry on as the soldiers came to the Garden to arrest Him and finish His journey to the Cross. We don’t read that passage and make fun or criticize Him we simply see His humanity and love Him for finishing the job for which He came and He did it all for us!

I was going through a personal crisis some years ago and my dad, being very concerned for me, said, “Dear what is troubling you?” I regret now that I didn’t just open up to him, instead I answered, “Some things are better left unsaid.” He never pressed me to talk, he reached over and patted my hand and said, “I am praying for you.” If you can’t talk to anyone in this world you can always go to the Throne room and tell Him all that is on your heart without fear of retribution, you are greeted with forgiveness, love and complete acceptance. The old hymn says, “What a friend we have in Jesus” and that is so true, you can be transparent with Him!

2 Replies to “Transparency, can you handle it?”

  1. Wonderful words! Jesus is the only one that will never fail us! He is never shocked or embarrassed or regretful that he chose us to be his friend! He has never messed up and he loves me so intimately! So incredibly humbling! Also, it is so paradoxical that the more I learn to be transparent with people, the more they trust me. Everyone makes mistakes! When someone tries to act perfect, it is so untrustworthy. So, in my thirties, I am learning, “This is me.” It has cost me some friends but it has also built very deep relationships. Thank you for your wise words! (…and letting me ramble. hope it made sense)


    1. It absolutely made wonderful sense and I get it. I have found the same to be true. Funny that when you are totally honest about yourself sometimes you do have a self-righteous friend who wants to slap you on the hand for something you say, found that to be true also! Love me or leave me this is me😄❤️


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