Make it a Happy Thanksgiving!

IMG_1367As I write this I am looking out the windows of my great-room and the sun is illuminating in his final glow of the day trees that are mostly bereft of their leaves. I have written this week about being grateful for my heritage and about the most memorable Thanksgiving I remember, today I want to talk to those of you who have lost a loved one, either because they died or simply left. I could bracket “simply left” because there are different reasons for a person to leave. I can actually speak to both of those reasons and I will, right now.

Let’s talk about death first. I think the first holidays after someone has died are the worst at least that is what I told myself last year when we were facing the first Thanksgiving without my daddy sitting at the head of the table. As I was preparing the turkey I heard my dad saying, “Harolene don’t cook a turkey, just bake a ham, I don’t like turkey!” I would always answer with, “Daddy I have to cook a turkey, everybody expects turkey on Thanksgiving but I will bake a ham for you!” and I did just that. Last year no one told me not to cook a turkey but while I was basting that big old twenty-two pound bird I also put a big ham in the cast iron Dutch oven and smiled as I said, “Daddy this is for you.” Then of course there was Christmas and I missed him calling me into their room and giving me money to buy something for myself for Christmas AND my birthday. The last year he was with us he told me that he was going to pay for the washing machine and dryer I had to buy as the others had both died almost simultaneously, and he asked if that was an acceptable gift! Every time I use either of those appliances I think of him. The Holiday I had a more difficult time with though was New Year’s Eve. That was always a special time because it was the anniversary of the day he and my mother married and the last anniversary they celebrated was their seventieth! I had mixed emotions when the day came because it went by with no notice at all from my mother. On New Year’s Day we were alone in the house with my family gone to Disney World and she sat watching the Rose Parade without ever mentioning daddy or her anniversary, I felt sad that she had lost that memory.

After the holidays there was the first birthday, April 5, and then finally the anniversary of the day he left, May 8, 2013. I had a sense of relief thinking that the hard part was over, it wasn’t.

As hard as it is to lose your loved one to death it is very hard to lose them because they chose to leave. The first December 18 that came around after my divorce I really thought I was unaffected until I was standing at a counter buying something and started to write a check, when I wrote the date I started crying leaving the salesperson befuddled as to what to do. I face it again every year on Christmas Eve as my two children, now adults with families of their own, go across town to spend it with their dad and his other family.

We could all find reasons to feel sorry for ourselves and be perfectly justified in it but why ruin the beautiful day we are living by looking back at what used to be, be it sweet or bitter? When my children were young I would pray for their day and then I would say, “Don’t let today be the yesterday you regret tomorrow!” I pass the same thing on to you, let’s enjoy this day with the people who care enough to come and sit at our table and make it a day that will cause them to say, “This is the best Thanksgiving I every had.”

Love, joy, blessings and calorie free dessert for you is my wish, Happy Thanksgiving!

About harolene

Thank you for stopping by for a visit! If you read my thoughts you will see that I am sometimes serious, at other times sappy or funny, occasionally I am sad and sentimental, but I am always sincere! I am a single mother who raised two children, born ten years apart and different sexes so first it was bows and dolls, pretty dresses and boys! When my son was born it was rough and tumble games, baseball, soccer, wrestling and girls! I am known for my "smile" and for my default answer to any situation, "no problem", which was something I didn't realize I did until it was pointed out to me! I am a moon watcher and a star gazer. I am astounded and feel so small knowing that every creature that has ever walked the face of this earth has gazed upon that same beautiful orb that my eyes can behold on any night when the earth is not wearing her cloak of clouds. My parents have made me the person that I am. Their love, veracity in all areas of life, humor and passion for their work and each other have given me hope that my life can actually be a happy one! Chances are if you are reading this you already know all this but again, I appreciate your stopping by! While you're here hit the "Like" button for me and thanks for checking in!
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3 Responses to Make it a Happy Thanksgiving!

  1. griefmixtape says:

    This will be my first Thanksgiving without my dad and so far it has been very rough…but your blog entry really encourages me to look up and try to find joy through a tough time. Thank you for such amazing advice and calling us to refocus on what’s important.


  2. Patricia Bowen says:

    Glad you wrote,Just wanted to say have a Blessed Thanksgiving, Miss you and Bishop Harry something awful,Love You PB.

    Liked by 1 person

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