I still look the same, but I feel weird!

We used to sing a song in church, “There’s a new name written down in glory, and it’s mine, O yes, it’s mine!” It goes on to tell about the white robed angels singing about a sinner that has come home, that’s why there is a new name, it’s a new name because a sinner came home, got it? OK, moving right along….

Revelation 2:17 says, “Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name.”

Now we see that first having a new name means that you have been saved by grace, and then we see that the new name is going to be inscribed on a smooth stone and it is a secret new name!

As a young girl I would dream of what my new name would be because I never really liked the name Harolene, no one ever pronounced it right and I had to spell it and explain where it came from, what? You mean you didn’t know? You talked me into it; my dad’s name was Harry my mother’s middle name was Olene, got the picture yet? Being born on Christmas Day my mother had a name that she wanted to use but her mother interfered and wanted my name to be Harolene so mother acquiesced. She had told me many times what she had wanted to name me, one of the names was Linda but when her dad said, “Yes Linder is a beautiful name”, she quickly changed her mind. I have a certificate with the picture of the hospital on it and the name simply “Harolene Mushegan” on it. I asked mother why my first name, Merry was not on it. She would say she didn’t know. It always bugged me that my full name wasn’t on it but then it wasn’t a legal document and for some reason I cannot locate that little piece of paper anywhere in this big house! Continuing the saga…

My driver’s license expires on my birthday this December 25, 2016 so since time goes by so fast I decided to be proactive and contacted Vital Records to get a legal copy of my birth certificate. I gave all the information needed, the city, county, name of hospital, date, name of my parents and swore that it really was for me that I was getting it. It arrived yesterday.


I pulled that paper out of the envelope, which cost $17.45 to have mailed to me in that big brown cardboard envelope and looked to finally see my full name listed on it in black and white… and it was, my world as I know it was shattered, I went to look in the mirror to see if I looked different, I did not look changed, I looked exactly like I did earlier in the day, but I felt different, kind of weird, like the world had turned upside down… there the name I had so wanted to see in black and white stared up at me…. CAROL HAROLENE MUSHEGAN!! CAROL!!! ME???? NOOOOOOO!

That’s when I remembered mother telling me that when she decided against “Linder” she would name me Merry (as in Christmas) and Carol (as in Christmas carol), it all made sense to me. I still wondered why neither Merry nor Carol was on that certificate from the hospital. I don’t how it happened, but my suspicion is that my grandmother did it, she had a history of that, decided to change it after they had already recorded it. She had done that with my Uncle Earl, Jr. My granddaddy had wanted to name him two Old Testament names, Othniel Hobab! After two months of trying to call a small infant by either of those names Mama decided he would be Earl Pearly Paulk, Jr.

So now I have a new name and I haven’t even gone to heaven yet and it is a secret any longer, I am Carol… did I just say that out loud?

8 Replies to “I still look the same, but I feel weird!”

  1. Well my question now is do I call u Merry, Carol or what??? I will always love Leany. That was Doug’s special name for you. Miss you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes and I’m sure I’ve told you but when he called me that it was so special to me, my mother called me that when I was a little girl ❤️ He is the only person in this world that ever called me that besides her. It must have been special ❤️😇


  2. Years ago during a communication class the ice breaker activity went something like this. We each had a blank sheet of paper and was told to write the most beautiful word…as we all offered our ideas, no, no, no.. According to that guy the most beautiful spoken word to us was our own name. I recall being overcome with sadness because that was not my experience at all. I grew up hating the name Peggy which means Pearl which I would have preferred. I learned to tell the teachers in Chicago, “No, my Momma is from Alabama, she didn’t know it was a nickname for Margaret” When I heard Joyce’s testimony called trophies of God’s Grace, and discovered the meaning of my middle name, Jean was God’s graciousness, I slammed those names together and became PegJean, pearl of God’s Grace. I remembered that ice breaker from so many many years ago and when I hear PegJean spoken, I finally understand what he was talking about.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That’s awesome, but I can see the bewilderment also. I feel your pain I was named after my dad only, people want to put y, i.e., but never just an i. They want to call me Roberta, I get phone messages for Mr. Bobbi Cook, so I know what you mean. So there you go Carol, lol, I just can’t make that roll off my tongue for you, but love stories like this🙂But if you live in DC and people know your name to be Bobbi Sue, it is suggested that I should be in daisy duke shorts , hooters bra and must only have 1/2 a brain.

    Liked by 1 person

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