Lyrics from a song from long ago began to circulate in the recesses of my brain until it came to the front. I Googled it and read the words, it begins: “I can’t count the times, because of me your heart’s been broken and I have seen you hurt because of angry words I’ve spoken But somehow you always knew when I hurt you I never meant to, We keep rising above it all like the sun on wings of morning and the hurt can’t make us fall We keep rising above it all.” Looking back over my life I wonder “is there something I need to make right?” Sometimes my mouth runs off while my brain gets constipated, and I say things that were better left unsaid. Maybe we are all guilty of that one. How have I disappointed myself? All the promises I made to me like getting in better shape, getting more organized, being prepared for things in advance instead of waiting till the last moment, getting more sleep, taking better care of myself as I do for others in my life. If I have disappointed myself what must God think of me? I have let Him down in so many ways, my attitude gets in my way, hurts suffered are allowed to simmer and boil, but then I remember the words from the Lords Prayer that says, “Forgive us … as we forgive” and know that if I want God to forgive me for all my foolishness then I must let some things go.
So in thinking about the upcoming year instead of making God or myself lofty promises, which is only setting me up for defeat, I’ll be realistic and ask, What can I do to make things better for myself and those around me? Before I can put new groceries in my refrigerator I have to clean out all the old things and it’s the same with our soul and spirit. Look inward and then upward and say, Psalm 139:23-24 Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—then guide me on the road to eternal life.