I am tired!

I am tired. When I wanted to start this year with a totally positive attitude I find myself feeling negative because of negative people.

Romans 7:15-20 “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. 

I am tired. I don’t want to hear your rants on politics any-more-ever-again. People went to the polls and voted for the people they wanted, last election you were happy and they weren’t, next time around maybe you’ll be happy again.

I am tired. My opinion is asked on many things, I have been through, I have experienced a lot, I am not a doctor but I nursed my parents for several years and yes one died while in his sound mind, his heart just got tired of beating for ninety-five years and quit. My mother had Alzheimer’s. I watched her go from a vibrant, life loving, husband worshipping and an adoring mother and grandmother to a dried-up-shell-of-a-woman and while I wouldn’t dare give you advice, I have been there and done that and know what works and what doesn’t work. I know that telling a person they have a broken mind, or trying to convince them of anything at all doesn’t work. I am not being negative, putting off bad vibes or giving unsolicited advice, I just know what I know.

I am tired. Tired of people blaming God for everything from in-grown toenails to bad marriages. People have problems, are sick, have tragedies in their life and none of it is God’s fault. Every problem I have ever had is because I have made stupid mistakes and made bad decisions. When I find myself deep in trouble I go to the God who created me and ask for help, He has always come through for me and for that I am grateful.

I am going to re-start this year today January 3, 2019 and I have made a decision that at least for this year (or as long as I remember this one and only resolution) to pass by anything negative. I can’t control anyone but myself and I choose to be happy.

It was said of me once, “Merry, room in her heart for everyone.” I hope that is still true.

7 Replies to “I am tired!”

  1. When they start the negative crap or start blaming our perfect Father, or begin complaining, etc……. My advice is say this and walk away as quickly as your 2 legs can take you: “Honey, I’m sorry but I have to go. I will have to catch up with you later.” After being told that a few times, surely they will get the message. Stop being their sponge as you know who would say. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love you too. I saw Dr Ara this morning and he showed me a Pic of the boys on their 8 month birthday. How adorable! Remember…….. Those legs were made for walking! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ME TOO!
    Not to be confused with the organization.

    ME TOO….I’m tired.
    Thank you for being transparent. Prayers for you, sweet friend.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re a blessing! With all you went through during that terrible flood you always kept a positive attitude!! I’m just proud to know ya ‼️❤️


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