and then I felt ashamed of myself…

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on

I did something yesterday that made me feel ashamed when I thought about it. 

                                         Let me back up a little …One day I walked into my dad’s bedroom, he was sitting in his recliner, leaning forward with his hands together. He looked up at me and told in detail why he did not want a funeral. He said, “So many people say they love me, but where are they when I am teaching my lesson on Wednesday night? Why don’t they ever give me a call on the phone to see how I am or walk up my sidewalk and knock on the door to see me?  

                                        I had no answer…He then told me he didn’t want to be put in a box and have people come around and “look up my nose” saying how much they loved me, or what a good man I was… at that he sort of chuckled and sat back. He told me he wanted to be buried the day after he died without being embalmed or handled and that our immediate family should come to say a final goodbye, which is exactly what we did… to the shock and chagrin of even extended family members who still have not forgiven me for this… I don’t care, I did what I was asked to do. 

The point was I wanted him to be shown the respect he deserved. To expose him to the public after his death after he had been such a towering figure, ministering to many thousands of people, just seemed wrong. I was happy I had his particular instructions to follow that left him in anyone’s mind the same strong man they remembered standing in the pulpit…and in my mind his dignity intact. 

               What has that to do with what I did that caused me to be ashamed of myself?

I saw a little headline in my email that said something like, “What do these stars look like now?”

I hit the link and was appalled at the blown-up lips and cheeks on once beautiful women who, as they got older, had fillers and Botox injected, making them strangely all look alike!

                                         Suddenly…as I was about to hit the little box labeled, “Next” I realized that I was doing the very thing I was so against. These people had been caught off guard by photogs looking to make money by photographing people who had been famous stars and were now in their declining years, people who deserved privacy. 

I was embarrassed and felt I was doing something very wrong and wouldn’t want any of those people to know I had peeked in at them, caught unaware.

I quickly closed that link and asked forgiveness…unheard by them but hopefully God would hear me and forgive my inappropriate behavior. 

In chapter 9 of Genesis, we see that Noah’s son found him asleep and naked. From the way I read it I think he may have made fun of him when he told his two brothers, who quickly took a robe and placed it over their shoulders and backed in so they wouldn’t see him, to cover his nakedness. The other brother was cursed for what he had done.

We all deserve a little respect, now, don’t we?

6 Replies to “and then I felt ashamed of myself…”

  1. Yes. Yet respect for your dad was earned. Respect for the “stars” was not. But to God, they are each His children and therefore deserving of our respect (and more, really),..regardless of what they’ve earned.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think with me it was just the fact that they had no choice, we’re photographed unawares but then one could argue, they are public figures. 🙏♥️😇

      Liked by 1 person

  2. When I was a Volunteer EMT, IO would sometimes have to “Uncover” someone’s “Personal space”. For what I needed to do, it was unavoidable…
    But, there were times when News Reporters showed up, or even “Gawking Spectators”, who would try to get ‘look-ins’ or even photographs. I thought of them as “Vultures” like those who tried to get pictures of Lady Diana after the fatal car crash.
    There was a REASON that I had to “violate their privacy”… but for others, they were disgusting “Peeping Toms”. At times, I even had to ask Police Officers or firefighters to “Stand guard” from such CREEPS.
    There where times, as I cared for my aging Mom, that I also had similar situations. If she had fallen in the bathroom floor, or some other similar situation, I needed to help her to her feet, or to complete whatever task she needed to do. { I am sure you faced similar such situations.} I did such things as Noah’s sons… I would drape a bath towel over her, or whatever I could do to protect her privacy.
    There was a “difference” to me, of caring for an injured stranger, and caring for my own Mom.
    Interestingly… I have a High School Reunion coming up in September. Our 51st Anniversary! (#50 got ‘COVID Cancelled’) I am fortunate to still be in contact with MANY of my classmates… some of us have been friends since 2nd grade!! I wonder how many of my ole friends will be using some of those so-called “Beauty Enhancements” before they show up at the Reunion, thinking they “need” to look young and youthful..? (smile)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. One thing for sure Floyd, you don’t need any enhancement!! Yes I understand the situation with your mom as I faced it with both my parents. Thank you for your input! ♥️♥️



    Liked by 1 person

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