Am I Shining?

IMG_2139I posted this picture today, December 18 as I write, of me in a wedding picture because if I were not divorced today would have been my anniversary, so I posted it for my children to see.  When we stand and take vows before our friends and God we mean them, I am sure I did and there was a time that no matter how rough it was to stay with your partner you just toughed it out and stayed in the union. Sometimes things happen and no one is more at fault than the other it just doesn’t work.  I was embarrassed and ashamed that I was not able to make it work especially since I have the two most wonderful children anyone in the world ever had, sorry if you have children that is no reflection on yours just bragging on mine a little bit!


There is a light that shines from someone newly in love that everyone can see. You go through life and everything seems great and then one day, your light is snuffed out.


When I got married I felt as if I had achieved the goal of marital bliss that I had experienced through watching my own parents. I wanted to be them. It didn’t happen. Sometimes it feels like life beats you down until there is nothing left, it is at those times that you fake it till you make it, then you find out you are faking it all by yourself and that is the final blow and then the candle and the light that it brings, is snuffed out. I didn’t realize that I had so totally lost it until a friend of mine made a statement that gave me a reality check; “It used to be that when you walked into a room, everything lit up, what has happened to you?” That was when I realized that my light had, indeed, gone out. It was true. When you have been raised to make a go of whatever you have put your hand to, you get so down on yourself for failing. You have the mentality that if you had been better, prettier, smarter, something more than you are, then things would have been better, and you would have succeeded. That is what makes your light go out, the blame you lay on yourself for failing! There is an old saying, “It takes two to tango”. According to Today’s English Idioms, this means that when two people have a conflict, then both people are at fault, but when it was me I couldn’t help but feel defeated.


When a person has had a powerful, personal, salvation experience, a light turns on in them that the whole world can see. Matthew 5:14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.  We used to rejoice at the excitement in new Christians and joke that they should “be locked up for 30 days” after their conversion! But it is that excitement that attracts others, the light that turns on in them, where they were formerly dark, depressed and without hope, shines on everyone around! The great sadness is when one of these suddenly gets discouraged, and it happens, read 1 Peter 5: 6-11 “Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.”


Whether you have had a personal disappointment, or a spiritual one, don’t let your light be extinguished! This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine! Merry Christmas!

2 Replies to “Am I Shining?”

  1. Rats- my mouse died two words from the end.. I stated that I can relate to this one very good. Been there done that is oh so true with this thought. It takes two to make it work but one can destroy it faster than you can blink. Words & looks cut worse than sharp knives & no amount of hugs, tears, roses, sloppy kisses & “I am sorry” will ever erase them from your memory. I think over all I tried too hard. I was determined it was going to work no matter what. But I realized a few years back that I started them all on the wrong footing. My dreams, standards & desires came first instead of depending on the Lord to make the right choice for me. This time I waited on the Lord, prayed, fasted & prayed some more. The result is I have never been happier. I appreciate you for being honest enough with yourself to stand up & write what you have. Takes a person satisfied within them self to do it. Thank you. May God bless you as I know He does. Thanks for being there with so many words of wisdom every day.


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