OK, so what’s the fun of being an idiot if you can’t tell on yourself, right? Like the time I told you about the cornbread dressing that was so dry that when I threw it out for the birds to enjoy I saw the crow pick up a piece and fly away with it when as I was watching dewy eyed and pleased with myself because something I had made with my own hands was being picked up and eaten by that creature of God only to return to drop it in the bowl of water that was sitting there, wait a few seconds, pick it out and fly away again! Whew, had to catch my breath after that last long sentence! The embarrassing thing was that I did not the only one to observe the whole scene but my dad, who got a great chuckle out of it! Or the time when I was trying to come across as an actress who could handle any situation and upon missing my line about my mother’s illness said, in front of five hundred people, “she broke her leg or something”. By the time the laughter stopped I’m not sure the whole spirit of the Christmas play was ever fully restored. Then there was the time I wore a sheath that I was sure made me look every bit as wonderful as Marilyn Monroe or Sophia Loren, the problem was that it had one of those “new” plastic zippers that as I was singing, again in front of a packed church in South Georgia at the funeral of my mother’s uncle, broke open right at the waist line and opened all the way up and all the way down showing everyone that I had chosen to not wear a slip that day and upon backing into a side room discovered that was where all the men who were pall bearers were sitting. Luckily there was a door to the outside where I ran out and ensconced myself in the car and remained there through the remainder of the funeral and the graveside service!
One last thing that I will share was the night that I was walking in my sleep right through the living room in my little nightgown where my parents were entertaining company to the kitchen and back through to discover the next morning that I had taken three eggs out of the refrigerator, walked back through the living room in my baby doll pajamas and placed them on the back of the toilet before returning to my bed. I had no memory of doing that and was shocked when my mother took me into the bathroom next morning and asked if I knew why the three eggs were there, and by the way I was thirteen-years old when that happened!
Those are only a few of the instances that I will never live down, should I go forward and tell you my latest embarrassing, incident?
I have always had spiritual experiences, wonderful times that I knew I heard God during my time of prayer, dreams that were prophetic, times that God has lifted the veil between a loved one gone on and myself, so it was no surprise to me this past week when I began to smell the fragrance of fresh lemons! I have heard of people smelling the fragrance of roses and equated it with the presence of God, and I wondered what was the significance of being able to smell the fresh lemons. The first time it happened I was in my great room and since the couch has a high back I had to lift myself in my seat and look over into the kitchen and no one was there. It happened several times over the next few days that suddenly I was having this heavenly visitation, I was waiting to hear spiritual instructions of some kind, or my dad was going to appear to me! I had asked a few times if anyone was squeezing lemons, I didn’t know where they would be as I hadn’t bought any recently and I didn’t see any evidence on the counter. “Wow”, I thought to myself, “I must really be about to enter a whole new realm of spirituality”. Parenthetical statement: Don’t judge me until you have been there!
I decided to share my new experience with my daughter, I was sure she would be as mystified as I upon hearing this! When I started sharing she started laughing! I was almost indignant at her making fun of me! OK, end of story, when she caught her breath from laughing at me she told me that she had been buying lemon wedges and keeping them covered in the refrigerator and when she made herself a glass of tea she was squeezing lemons into it. I told her that I had asked over and over if anyone was squeezing lemons but she hadn’t heard me ask in her hurry to retreat to her room with her tall, icy glass of iced tea complete with 3 sweeteners and fresh squeezed lemon!
This morning as they were leaving the house she went into the kitchen and said “Mother, in case you think you are having another spiritual experience, I am about to squeeze some lemons!” She, my son-in-law and granddaughter all exited the house in gales of giggles. Just thought I would share so the next time you smell the distinct aroma of fresh squeezed lemons you will think of me.
By the way as they left I said, “God is going to get you for that!”