In research, I found a team of doctors, Turner and Weed, which had written a paper on conflict and avoidance. They divide us ‘avoiders’ into three categories: First there are the Feeling-swallowers who swallow their feelings (me). They smile even if the situation is causing them pain and distress. They behave thus because they consider the approval of other people important and feel that it would be dangerous to affront them by revealing their true feelings. Second is “Subject-changers” (guilty again) who find the real issue too difficult to handle. They change the topic by finding something on which there can be some agreement with the conflicting party. Third, there are “avoiders” who go out of their way to avoid conflicts. Yes, again I see me here. I do try to be nice, but if you want to see the Lioness come out, attack my belief, Jesus Christ, or my children and you’ll see me come forward in attack mode.
Today I had a melt-down and not over any of the aforementioned but because I have been used, once again.
The key word is stubbornness.
- having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so: “a stubborn refusal to learn from experience” synonyms obstinate, stubborn as a mule, mulish, headstrong, willful…
Copied and pasted from the Oxford Dictionaries
So, why would I choose to talk about this subject at a time when peace, joy and love are the theme? Because this is the very time of the year when you will be gathering with relatives and friends and there are so many things over which some love to argue.
1 Samuel 15:23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
This is a conundrum (a confusing and difficult problem or question:)
I apologized to someone today for saying, “Don’t be stubborn listen to me!!” Did they deserve an apology?
But I said it in order to bring peace to a difficult situation.
If someone is trying to help you, if you have asked for their help, then at least give them the courtesy of listening to what they are saying. If you don’t intend to take their advice then very kindly thank them and release them of the responsibility of thinking they are helping you.
I have a little piece of advice for anyone reading this who may be like me and try to paddle a canoe that is full of holes, it is impossible to bring it ashore so best thing to do is what I had to do in this situation, jump out off the proverbial boat and save yourself.
Remember this, Only Jesus Saves!