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Lyrics from a song way in the past began to circulate in my brain until it came to the front so I searched Google for it and read the words. “I can’t count the times, because of me your heart’s been broken and I have seen you hurt because of angry words I’ve spoken But somehow you always knew when I hurt you I never meant to, We keep rising above it all like the sun on wings of morning and the hurt can’t make us fall We keep rising above it all.”

If there is something, any thing that I need to make right I want to do it because I realize that sometimes my mouth runs off while my brain gets constipated and says things that “would have been better left unsaid” but maybe we are all guilty of that one. I have disappointed myself, how? All the failed promises I made to me, getting in better shape, getting more organized, being prepared for things in advance instead of waiting till the last moment, getting more sleep, taking better care of me, as I do for others in my life. If I have disappointed me, what must God think of me?

I have let Him down in so many ways, my attitude gets in my way, hurts I have suffered are allowed to simmer and boil, knowing that to allow that to happen will only harm me and no one else. I have questions, but there are questions I can’t answer for myself much less for you; I can’t answer why you can’t make a certain person love you, or why you feel your parent rejected you and your choice of lifestyle. I get a lot of questions concerning parents, siblings, as well as a lover and while I am happy to help if I can and pray for you sometimes it is just a no answer zone. People have a will of their own because God made us that way, that’s what got us into trouble in the first place. Eve had the free choice to eat of the fruit or leave it alone. I have often stated that I wanted to find Eve and blame her for all my ills, but alas, I find that I am Eve, partaking of things that I know will bring me down, and yet expecting all to be well. Brings us back around to judging, doesn’t it?

No amount of wishing can turn back the clock so that we can change one thing we have done, said or thought, it is time to look inward and then upward and say,

Psalm 139:23-24 Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—then guide me on the road to eternal life.

If you are feeling down, try rising above it all!

There is an ad on TV for a new (old) show that will soon be aired, the Gong Show. I remember its first run back in the 70’s and it is a show better remembered for the outlandish, awful acts that people did than the persons who won a show like the American Idol. What happens is a person or group comes out to perform and if they are awful the host will take a huge mallet and hit a huge gong signaling that their act is over and they have to leave the stage. Seeing that ad gave me the thought of a line in a song that says, “Just when I’d stopped opening doors finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours, making my entrance again with my usual flair sure of my lines, no one was there…” That is a time when you have gone all out to do something you thought was wonderful and then find out it was scorned, or worse than that, ignored. So I kept turning those two thoughts and songs through my brain thinking and wondering if I had accomplished anything in my life that would be notable after my death, or if I had made such a fool of myself that God Himself would just Gong me off the stage!

I imagine that Job, while he sat scraping his sores with broken pieces of pottery, was wondering what it was that he had done that deserved being gonged off the stage of life and onto a dunghill scraping his sores while grieving for the lives of his children and the loss of all his properties. Or if when King David was laying in the ashes wearing his torn garments grieving the death of his son started realizing what he had done to bring this sadness to his life. On the one hand Job had not done anything worthy of judgment, he had lived an exemplary life and God had bragged on him, but David had looked on another man’s wife and wanted her so much that he had sent the man to the front lines of battle knowing that he would be killed and he could have Bathsheba for himself.

OK they both got the Gong, for different reasons, now what about me? What about you?

Have you been so tempted and tossed, (James 1: 6-8 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.  For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.) that you don’t know which door to go through and when you finally decide realize you have chosen the wrong one and no one is there to see your performance or give you accolades?

I get embarrassed thinking of some of the dumb things I have done in my lifetime, things that if God were standing at the Gong with the great mallet would definitely have struck it at least three times telling me to get off the stage of life!

Psalm 139: 23 Search me O God and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties.

Ask God to search your heart and see if there is anything in your life that needs to be cleaned up. Pray that you will have the faith you need to live your life honorably in a way that will keep you from being Gonged, believe me, it’s no fun!

After my post yesterday in which I compared us to seeds being buried under the ground and then drowned with water only to bring forth fruit I thought of this. I was driving into my garage, trying to get in without taking off a side mirror, when something white caught at my side vision. I stopped and felt annoyed that someone had thrown what seemed to be a tissue out onto my bushes, but when I got out of the car I became annoyed with myself because my gardenia bushes had bloomed and I, always in a hurry, had missed it! As I walked toward the bush the beautiful soft fragrance greeted my nostrils and it gave my soul a moment of sweet peace along with memories of gardenias given to me in the past. I walked over and took one of the soft, creamy white blossoms between my fingers to pluck off and take upstairs with me, but the little brown stick that held it’s blossom would not let go so easily. That was when I had an epiphany, a light bulb moment!

A favorite scripture, words spoken from the lips of Jesus, words that could open all the world of answered prayers to us, John chapter 15, it begins, “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.”

Looking at that little white flower perched high on that brown, wooden stick I thought what a miracle of nature it is for that little blossom to be born of that brown stick which was coming up from the dirt out of the ground, with its shiny green leaves surrounding it, HOW? You plant something that looks like nothing and from it this beautiful fragrant flower grows, and where did the fragrance come from? I looked up at the larger, less fragrant version, the magnolia tree growing close by and stood gazing like a small child seeing something for the first time, ever. How had I missed it?

It seems like a mystery and then you look at the simple example of beauty growing from the ordinary, fragrance growing from the dirt, a tomato growing from a vine that is planted in the dirt, which I can pluck and eat! Would I eat the dirt? No, but the fruit is delicious. I don’t know if this hits you the way it did me, but realize that you and I are planted in the dirt of this earth to bring forth beautiful and fragrant fruit. Let the first fruit be from our lips be worship for the most high God!

Have you ever read Deuteronomy chapter 28 and seen all the blessings that God has for us? Here is what it says, Deuteronomy 28:1-6 “If you listen obediently to the Voice of God, your God, and heartily obey all his commandments that I command you today, God, your God, will place you on high, high above all the nations of the world. All these blessings will come down on you and spread out beyond you because you have responded to the Voice of God, your God: God’s blessing inside the city, God’s blessing in the country; God’s blessing on your children, the crops of your land, the young of your livestock, the calves of your herds, the lambs of your flocks. God’s blessing on your basket and bread bowl; God’s blessing in your coming in, God’s blessing in your going out.”

The promises of God to us ARE blessings, but sometimes, even after you have done all you think you can to do to be “right”, things don’t work out, you feel out of sight, buried…in dirt! Who can see you if you are under the dirt? On top of that, when things start coming in around you, you feel that you are drowning, feeling that you can’t swim or claw your way out of all the trouble and despair you are in. “Where is God in all this?” you ask, and then you pray and remind God of all His promises to you. You might say, “What have I done to deserve this? God promised me blessings and here I am all covered in dirt!” 

There is promise in a seed, a grain of corn or wheat, but just one grain of corn or one stalk of wheat cannot feed your family, so what do you do? You have to bury it so far beneath the ground that you cannot see it; it is completely submerged in DIRT. On top of that, you have to be watered! The seed is under dirt, and then drowned in water, it dies. You struggle to rise above it; you press upward in spite of your surroundings, it is then that you realize the meaning of 1Peter 4:12-13 “Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.”

When body builders work out their muscles, they sweat and hurt a lot before it shows in ripped abs and biceps, but their motto is “no pain, no gain“. When a seed is brought forth from the ground, that one seed can bear thirty, sixty and a hundred fold. When we are in our darkest times, God is always there whether we can see Him, or not. Psalm 139:1-6 “O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!”

Don’t be afraid of the dark, and don’t be afraid of getting wet because you are getting ready to bloom!

A boomerang is a wooden instrument designed so that when hurled it returns to the thrower. Another meaning for the word boomerang is, “To have the opposite effect from the one intended; backfire.” Now that you have read the definition of a boomerang, you probably wonder what was my point, right?

Matthew 7:1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.  Matthew 7:12  “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get.

Encapsulated within the above scriptures you will find that Jesus is speaking and what he says proves that life is literally a boomerang, what you throw out comes back to you again. My dad used to paraphrase the scripture Ecclesiastes 1:11 Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days, saying, “Cast your bread upon the waters for after many days it will return unto you pound cake!” He lived by that rule and I could honestly tell you that the acts of charity he did toward everyone, and I am not just talking about feeding the poor I am talking about the mercy he showed to people who treated him badly or slighted him by forgiving them completely and praying for their wellbeing. I asked him about it more than once and he would answer by telling me that God loved those people as much as He loved him or me. That was very hard for me to swallow as a young person but as I matured I knew he was telling the truth.

I was holding something in my heart, a bitterness about something that had been done to me, I never understood it, and I don’t believe I wanted to understand it; I would rather feel slighted so I could lick my wounds and use it as an excuse to be unhappy about the way my life turned out. I am not proud of that I am just being totally honest here. This week I got hit square in the heart by the boomerang of life as I sat and listened to someone say the very things to me about the way I had reacted in a similar situation that I had taken such offense about. My first reaction was that my feelings were hurt and I wanted to cry but was too proud to show it. It wasn’t until I was alone in my trusty old red van later driving down the road that the boomerang effect happened, I remembered what had happened to me and realized that it didn’t look any different on me than it had on someone else many years before. I had had all the right intentions and really thought I was acting in the best interest of all concerned, that wasn’t the way it was perceived.

Jesus gave us the best advice, better than anything I could say here by telling us to “do unto others as we would have them to do unto us”.

I was troubled all day by a dream I woke with that morning. I know that sometimes dreams are a result of a “multitude of business” of the day that your mind is trying to work through. However, when you have had dreams that come to pass exactly as you have dreamed them, or the symbolism is so clear that I could figure out what it meant and would see how it came to pass, it does give you pause. Then the phrase “beauty for ashes” kept going through my mind and so I found it tucked into a verse in Isaiah 61:3. I listened to the scriptures being read from that verse in Isaiah to chapter seven of Jeremiah. What I heard was God pleading with His people to be faithful to Him, to return to the old paths and quit their sins and from worshipping idols made with their own hands instead of the God who had fed them, clothed them and led them out of the desert place into the lush Promised Land. I listened and felt sorry for the Creator of the Universe, I know what it feels like to be left by one that was supposed to love you, to find out someone has taken your place and it is not a good feeling, I repeat, I felt sorry for God. I have found that God continues to love us, and give us chance after chance to turn our life around, He gives us hope.

Lamentations 3:19-24 I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.

Then after thinking about how God continues to love us and give us solutions to our problems when we ask something else came to my mind, a song I have been listening to over and over sung by Aretha Franklin, although you will probably be more familiar with it if I said it was written and sung by Simon and Garfunkel, it is Bridge over Troubled Water. I am going to put some of the words here for you to read and as you read them I ask you to picture Jesus being the bridge over the troubled waters of your life.

When you’re weary, feeling small, When tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all (all) I’m on your side, oh, when times get rough and friends just can’t be found like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down, When you’re down and out When you’re on the street, When evening falls so hard I will comfort you I’ll take your part, oh, when darkness comes and pain is all around, Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down.

I need that Bridge right now, do you?

Larry Gatlin wrote a song which Johnny Cash recorded, and one we sang many times, it was called simply, “Help Me.” Part of the lyrics said: Lord, Help me walk Another mile, just one more mile; I’m tired of walkin’ all alone. Lord, Help me smile Another smile, just one more smile; You know I just can’t make it on my own.  If you read the Psalms you find many times that the Psalmist David said these same words, over and over again. He may have said in different ways but these words capture the heart of the writer.

Sometimes it is called depression, but I call it just plain being weary. The definition for “weary” is physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired: weary eyes; a weary brain. I think “a weary brain”, describes us best, we do it to ourselves! We think we are super heroes and that no one, I mean NO one can do the job we do, better than us! We take on things God never assigned to us, and then complain because we have been over extended.

It happens a lot of times with new Christians. They give their heart to God and then jump into the work of the church with both feet. I say it that way because the work of the church and work for God are two completely different matters!

Jesus said Matthew 11:28-30 Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Jesus never commanded you to be a greeter or usher, on two committees at one time, join the prayer group, go to every meeting that is called for everything you do, meanwhile leaving your family unattended and your spouse a little angry because you are always absent, so, using the church as an excuse you realize you are doing too much so instead of cutting down on some of your activities, you just quit church!

I have seen it many times through all the years of being raised in and then working for the church. When you hear of divorce and affairs among pastors, youth leaders, music directors, it is because they have spent so much time away from their own spouse they form relationships with people who become inappropriate and end with tragedy.

Did God ask them to do that? No, He only wants us to worship Him, and show others the way to salvation.

He never asked for mammoth building programs, or all the other programs we take on ourselves. Charity is handing that woman who is standing outside the grocery store asking for money the gift card you have been saving to use for something special, or donating canned goods to your local church or food pantry.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

If you are overcome by weariness of the work without the uplifting of Worship, you will fold; the devil has then done his job and done it well!

1 Peter5: 7 “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you!” 

Psalm 23 says, the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want, He lets me rest in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters, He RESTORES my soul, He leads me in paths of righteousness, for His name’s sake. Even if I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear evil for He is WITH ME!

Let Him restore your weary soul, Peace!

Have you ever heard that saying about the silk purse and the sow’s ear? It was one of my grandmother’s favorites and generally had to do with a young man, or lady, that seemed unsuitable to date. I, however, think it applies to situations in life that seem impossible, too bad to turn around, just plain bad! When I am in a bad situation, I try to think about what could be the worse thing to happen. Sometimes it already has and I feel that I need to “wrap myself in the rags of my life and lay it at the cross”!

All through the Bible we see stories where a good solution seemed impossible. Look at the Children of Israel caught between the Pharaoh and the Sea, but God opened the water for them to walk across on dry land, and the enemy couldn’t follow because, they drowned! Daniel was in the Lion’s Den and God shut the mouth of the lion! So many examples, such as we find in Genesis 50:20 “You meant to hurt me, but God turned your evil into good to save the lives of many people, which is being done.” These were the words that Joseph spoke to his brothers after the death of their father.

Yes, it would be nice if we could make silk purses from sows ears but if you have a “sows ear” you might just need to like it the way it is! We only get to go through life one time without any do-overs and we must learn to make the most by learning a lesson from the mistakes that we make.

Mistakes? There are mistakes that no amount of fixing can help, such as my Pineapple Up-side Down Cake! When I was learning to cook, and doing a pretty good job with “noodle dishes” and casseroles, desserts were yet to be learned. My mother called and told me they were bringing home the Senior pastor, they were working with, for coffee. I told her I would make a cake to go with it! I didn’t, yet, know the difference between baking soda and baking powder and, you guessed it, making the cake “from scratch” I used the soda instead of the powder, no need to tell you that it was quite obvious and was HORRIBLE! I thanked God the coffee was good and poor old preacher was no worse for the terrible bite of cake, except it took several minutes for his mouth to un-pucker! It reminded me of the apple pie a lady made for us to have, at her house, after a church service. She was famous for her apple pie! Somehow, whether aging eyes or her mean younger brother played a dirty trick, the salt and sugar canisters contents had gotten switched! My dad was offered the first piece and she was watching his face to see his delight, and asking him if he would like some cheese to go on top of it, all while he was trying to hold a straight face and making an attempt to swallow the briny apple pie. He held his expression until another of her brothers had tasted the pie. When he took his bite of pie he spewed it out and a shout of laughter went up, the rest is history!

Mistakes like those are funny and can be fixed, other life mistakes not so easily. Samson made the mistake of trusting Delilah causing him to lose his super natural strength, his relationship with his God, and his eyesight. Achan made the mistake of taking a wedge of gold and some garments from the defeated enemy camp; it cost him, not only, his life, but the life of his entire family. Esau made the mistake of selling his birthright to his younger brother, If you have made one mistake or many, ask God to forgive and help you. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

OK, your turn to confess!

Luke 9:62 And Jesus said to him “No man having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the Kingdom of God”. I was working in my kitchen, not paying attention to what was on TV. I began to feel sad and nostalgic. I heard a bugle sounding out “Taps” followed by a 21-gun salute; I realized that it was the funeral of our assassinated President, John F. Kennedy being shown in a documentary. I told my daughter to change the channel, do it quick! Suddenly I could not bear it, seeing the swollen face of Jackie behind that black veil, holding her expression still, with dignity, little John-John saluting as his dad’s coffin passed by. The pictures didn’t just bring back the funeral and the death of ‘Camelot’, but memories from that whole time era began to trickle then flood into every recess of my mind. I could feel exactly how I felt the day I watched that scene, our family all crowded around one black and white TV, to see people as they passed by. Whatever anyone’s political views were we were all united in the fact that the head of our country had been shot dead. Our nation felt another such blow when two airplanes, terrorists at the helm, crashed into the World Trade Center killing 2,752 souls. Where is the innocence of the people in the 8mm home movies, the ones waving and making faces and eating, always eating! I asked myself the question, “Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?”

When we spend too much time looking back whether it is to bask in the glory of that one long throw that hit the basket to end the game in a win, the long Hail Mary caught in the end zone, that beauty contest you won, or should have; babies grown with babies of their own, our parents so strong, walking without the aid of walking sticks or wheel chairs, and those that have gone on, waving as if to say, “Remember me this way, I’ll see you again, in heaven”, we get into a funk of depression and ‘what might-have-been’.

Isaiah 43:18 “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. I watched a pair of eagles, for two consecutive years as they built their nest and lay eggs then keep them warm until they hatched, and feed the young ones, they took such good care of them. But there came a day when mama eagle started stirring up all the comfortable lining of the nest, exposing bits of sticks and things that made the nest very uncomfortable for the young eaglets. Mother eagle took turns pushing them off into space then bringing them back. She made the nest more bare, more uncomfortable until finally there was no place to be lazy, that was when the parent eagles flew off for the last time leaving the young ones to finally fly away to create a nest of their own. God has a plan for our life but if we keep thinking about days gone by, trying to find that comfortable place to stay, we will never hear about the new plan! God will lead you, give you a cloud of protection by day and a warming fire at night, He will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory, but you have to keep walking in order to get to the Promised Land, He won’t pick you up and carry you there!

You can’t drive very far only looking in the rear-view mirror or win a race looing over your shoulder, so let’s forget past successes and past failures, pray for God’s will to be done in your life and look forward to see what God has for you!

Years ago I was in a church bowling league, pity the poor team that had to have me because I had never bowled and didn’t have the first clue as to how to stand or throw the ball, if I were ever able to simply keep it out of the gutter everyone cheered! One thing I heard more than once from would-be instructors was to “carry through” with the throw, it seems that was supposed to make a difference. Later on in life I listened in as someone was giving golf lessons and again I heard the encouragement to “carry through” with your swing. I even heard it back when my son was getting instructions on how to bat when he was in the Little League. Actually that is good advice for anything you do isn’t it?

If you begin a project see it through to the end. I have a problem of being distracted and cleaning in great spurts of energy and while I am in the middle of that I will think of something else that needs to be done so I leave cleaning product, cloths with polish, brushes to scrub the toilet in the middle of what I am doing and go to my next project planning to come back later and finish, sometimes I really do it too! I gave that a lot of thought this past week as I spent time reading the Gospels and following the life of Jesus. Everything He did was done to achieve a determined end, one that He knew was coming as well as the reason it had to be finished, His life had purpose. From the moment He was born until we first see Him conversing in the Temple with the elders at the age of twelve He was learning His Father’s business and, as He told Mary and Joseph when they found Him there with the elders and were going to chide Him, He was “about His Father’s business”. Every miracle He performed, every time He spoke a parable to the people or explained them to His disciples His one goal was to point to the Kingdom of Heaven and the Father.

John 14:9-10 “You’ve been with me all this time, Philip, and you still don’t understand? To see me is to see the Father. So how can you ask, ‘Where is the Father?’ Don’t you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I speak to you aren’t mere words. I don’t just make them up on my own. The Father who resides in me crafts each word into a divine act.” The dictionary says, “Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”

When I was nine-months old I was involved in a car crash that threw me from the back seat of the car, this was way before the days of infant seats, through the windshield and I landed amidst broken glass on the hood of the car. A few more inches and I would have been over the side of a bridge and landed in the bottom of a creek hundreds of feet below that bridge.

Why was I spared? Have I fulfilled the purpose in my life?

Now let me as you the same question I asked of myself, what is your purpose? What are you doing with your life? Are you at least helping others as you pass along this way? Is there something more? You weren’t called to die on a cross to save the soul of man, but you might have been called to save one person whom no one else will take the time or have enough love in their heart to help. Maybe it is all up to you…